Oh, The Stupidity of Me!

For what must be the thousandth time, I have been reminded that I'm a really, REALLY selfish person. If you've read one of my posts, you're probably aware of that already...

Last night, my mother was upset. A very small thing happened, but it was one of those "last straw" things that always results in a reaction that astonishes the guilty party. I was teasing my mom about something she had said, and she got so upset by it that she started to cry, explaining to me that she was at her wit's end with all of the disrespect and general neglect she had been suffering at the hands of my family.

Don't get me wrong here; we all love each other, but we're the sort of family that laughs a lot at each others' expense. Sometimes, my mother is the only one who isn't in the mood to joke like that - probably because she's so stressed from working a full time job, being a full-time mom, and helping my dad keep his business in order. That's a lot to handle anyway, and there are small things that we do that tend to push her to the edge sometimes.

I can't say I blame her. I imagine that she is pretty much constantly overwhelmed, and I know the feeling. I also now feel very childish and ridiculous for complaining so much and acting like such an immature little kid. I mean, come on! My worst problem - as I addressed yesterday - is that my job is too laid back and therefore I've got too much time to just sit and ponder harmful things.

Good grief.

I think it's time to get over it. So this is what I'll do:

Pray.

I know from past experience that the only way to overcome selfishness is to focus on loving other people, thus letting the self slip away. The best way to start loving other people more than we love ourselves is by loving God, and loving God is easy.
All you have to do is look around you.

So, starting right now, I'm going to start over and, with lots of help, get over myself.

Very few people are genuinely happy when they think they're the center of the universe. Many people are happy when they stop being afraid of getting hurt and start living.

Sure, there's a level of risk that you've got to be willing to take here. After all, we have to lose some to win some.