Ramblings

It's been raining here a lot lately. They say that these storms are left over from tropical storm Bonnie. Personally, I love rainy days - so long as I can be seperated from the downpour by a panel of glass. :)

I think I've drunk something like 25 cups of coffee in the last four days. I don't know if that's impressive or not, but it's a hell of a lot more than usual. I've also been playing the Angry Birds app game for hours on end. Who knew that catapulting various types of birds (some of them explode!) into fortresses of various materials in order to kill the little green pigs could be so addicting? Well it is. And if you have an iPod touch or an iPhone, you should get this game.

In other entertainment news, 30 Rock is probably the funniest show on television right now. (I watch everything on Hulu, though. It's so convenient!) The Big Bang Theory is a close second, mostly because of Sheldon. Lie to Me is never boring, either - definitely not funny, but still great.

Right now I'm reading three books: The Girl Who Played with Fire (for fun), Cry, The Beloved Country (required for Orientation), and The Noticer (for book club).
All are good so far, but I can't say I'd recommend The Noticer as a book club choice. It's interesting, but more for personal motivation than anything else.

Oh! and I almost forgot.
I'm also listening to World Without End by Ken Follett on audiobook - usually while I'm playing Angry Birds...
It's fantastic, but I would recommend reading and/or listening to The Pillars of the Earth first. It just makes a tad more sense that way. And I'll warn you, too, that this is a brick of a book with some rather explicit scenes scattered throughout.

Also on the list of books-that-I-started-to-read-this-summer-but-haven't-gotten-around-to-finishing are A Swiftly Tilting Planet, Les Miserables, The Hostile Hospital (book 8 of A Series of Unfortunate Events), and Angels and Demons.
Sometimes I just get bored and move on.
I'll finish them all eventually.

I recommend everything mentioned in this post to any bored people out there who stumble upon my blog.

Until tomorrow,
which supposedly never comes.

Two Posts in One Day!

This one's just a quote that I completely relate to. It's from this year's JBU Read for incoming freshman that I'm reading because I'm Orientation leader.

Here you go:

"Who indeed knows thesecret of the earthly pilgrimage? Who knows for what we live, and struggle, and die? Who knows what keeps us living and struggling, while all things break about us? Who knows why the warm flesh of a child is such comfort, when one's own child is lost and cannot be recovered? Wise men write many books, in words too hard to understand. But this, the purpose of our lives, the end of all our struggle, is beyond all human wisdom.

Oh God, my God, do not Thou forsake me."

~page 94, Cry, The Beloved Country

by Alan Paton

Oh, The Stupidity of Me!

For what must be the thousandth time, I have been reminded that I'm a really, REALLY selfish person. If you've read one of my posts, you're probably aware of that already...

Last night, my mother was upset. A very small thing happened, but it was one of those "last straw" things that always results in a reaction that astonishes the guilty party. I was teasing my mom about something she had said, and she got so upset by it that she started to cry, explaining to me that she was at her wit's end with all of the disrespect and general neglect she had been suffering at the hands of my family.

Don't get me wrong here; we all love each other, but we're the sort of family that laughs a lot at each others' expense. Sometimes, my mother is the only one who isn't in the mood to joke like that - probably because she's so stressed from working a full time job, being a full-time mom, and helping my dad keep his business in order. That's a lot to handle anyway, and there are small things that we do that tend to push her to the edge sometimes.

I can't say I blame her. I imagine that she is pretty much constantly overwhelmed, and I know the feeling. I also now feel very childish and ridiculous for complaining so much and acting like such an immature little kid. I mean, come on! My worst problem - as I addressed yesterday - is that my job is too laid back and therefore I've got too much time to just sit and ponder harmful things.

Good grief.

I think it's time to get over it. So this is what I'll do:

Pray.

I know from past experience that the only way to overcome selfishness is to focus on loving other people, thus letting the self slip away. The best way to start loving other people more than we love ourselves is by loving God, and loving God is easy.
All you have to do is look around you.

So, starting right now, I'm going to start over and, with lots of help, get over myself.

Very few people are genuinely happy when they think they're the center of the universe. Many people are happy when they stop being afraid of getting hurt and start living.

Sure, there's a level of risk that you've got to be willing to take here. After all, we have to lose some to win some.

This Summer

If there is one thing that I've learned this summer, it's that having nothing to do for long stretches of time is dangerous for my psyche.

I suppose this means that I am of that terribly selfish breed that - if left to my own devices - is likely to have a brain hemmorage (or three) from contemplating the fallacies of humanity for long periods of time.

A couple of weeks ago I was discussing my sour mood with my mother, who, quite frankly, was tired of my idiotic bad attitude. Who can blame her? I was acting like a selfish baby, the type that's likely to hold its breath until various idiotic demands have been met.
Anyway, she quickly recognized that boredom can be lethal for me when given in high doses. She saw that I needed a project or some other activity that would place my energies in other people, thus alleviating the pressure of my excrutiatingly critical gaze on my own soul.
(Jeez. Could that sentence have been any more convoluted?)

So, I started going to the gym after work every day. All those articles that claim the benefits of exercise are pretty much spot-on. After only a week of working out, I really did feel happier, and my overall mood towards the world was a little brighter.

I also began to read like mad. In one month I read something like twelve books (most of them were various childrens' books, but they still count as literature), and I'm only just beginning to slow down.
This brings me to another fun fact that I've learned about myself this summer: spending 8 hours a day doing very little that qualifies as actual work in front of a computer = introduction to the joys of online shopping.

I have spent countless hours of the last two months shopping for books, shoes, clothes, and movies (but mostly books). I haven't ended up buying anything except books online - including $300 worth of textbooks, yikes! - but I've been sorely tempted to spend my money on many things.

I don't know, I guess in my mind, summer is the time for book buying, swimming, and being lazy with friends - but based on this year's experiences, maybe I should begin to change my outlook a little...

Life's too short to be depressed so often.

Right?