Silent Hearts

Talk to me for a little while. I just need a moment. I only need one to pour my heart into.

He was right, though. If we hold our hearts out in our hands, it is only a short matter of time before someone comes along and starts sticking needles into it, just for the sake of watching us writhe in agony.

Such a pessimist. But in the end, the sad truth is that people can't be trusted. Go ahead and ask me why I think that. Nobody will, of course. Nobody sees this blog. But when I'm as desperately tired as I am at this moment, there's just about no limit to what I'll say. If it's in my head, it could very well come out of my mouth.

So.

Life is interesting. We go through good days, where the sun is shining - literally, figuratively, or both - and there are smiles all around. Then we have days like today, when nobody seems to have gotten any sleep in at least two weeks and everybody is tired and a little depressed. Or a lot depressed, depending on your disposition. Either way, it's not fun to be exhausted beyond fatigue.

I love people, but only sometimes. I used to strongly dislike most people all of the time, so I'd say this is definitely an improvement from past times. People can be great fun, but there are times when solitude is absolutely necessary. Solitude and Silence. It's quite sad how increasingly difficult to find true, sheer silence nowadays. Everybody's so busy going about their lives that they never stop to notice how incredibly loud the world is. And all that noise is so meaningless. It's in the silence that God speaks.

Silence can be louder than the ruckus, though, if it's an unwelcome guest. It can make a person crazy.

In our loud, social, tiny world, we need to learn to be more honest with each other and to appreciate the silences. We need to be more careful with each other's hearts. We need to love one another more than we love our selves. These are truths that very few care to listen to, because very few care more about anything than that monstrous SELF.

Death to self. To live is Christ; to die is gain. This world holds nothing for me... but I can't really believe that the world holds nothing. It does. It holds people. It holds love. It holds God's creation, the work of His hands. Yes, there are bad things, and yes, when death finally comes and frees us it will be much better than here, but I cannot say that there is nothing good here. All of the pain will be worth it in the end.

It's analogous to childbirth. The mother goes through some intensely agonizing pain, and while it's happening she might be having some serious doubts about whether it's worth it. But the moment her child is placed into her arms, it becomes clear that the pain was nothing compared to the joy she now holds. In the same way, the pain and suffering we endure on the earth will be cast in a whole new light once we finally reach the eternal joy of being in the presence of God.

What else is there?

Nothing To Say

I hate allergies. My eyes are sore from rubbing them. My friend has dogs and they weren't even in the room... never the less, I'm suffering. I don't like domestic animals unless I can be around them with no side effects. It's too bad, really.

Ironically, I need to go feed my cats now. They're outdoor, and for some reason their fur doesn't bother me.

I'm watching a show called "Pitchmen". It's interesting because it goes behind the scenes on infomercials. Oh the drama of everyday life...

The sixth Harry Potter movie comes out next Wednesday.

There's nothing left for me to say, really. I'm tired, but I can't sleep yet... Too much to do. It's kind of sad to watch this dead guy say that he wants to "leave a legacy" and talk about how his life didn't start until after he was forty. Now he's dead at fifty-something... sad.

Time for bed.
Good night, all.

Southern Summers

The light filters blue through the window;
Soft sounds of summer rain falling soothe a mind still half-asleep.
Where are we going today?

The heat comes rolling off of pavement,
Giving the wrong impression of water.
Will we swim today?

The leaves are green or brown,
The air is heavy enough to taste.
When will this drought end?

The slightest breeze carressing sweat-covered brows;
A blessed cloud gives relief from the sun.
Why can't life be this perfect always?

The day is lazy,
We sit in the cool darkness.
Today is all we have.

Enjoy the blue skies, the rolling clouds,
The green leaves and small breezes,
Enjoy the heat and love the dark,

Ask the questions while you may,
Know the answers, seek the day.
Too soon it will be gone again.

And Then There Were Two...

This is now my second attempt at keeping a blog. The first was on livejournal, and I've still got that account, but I haven't updated it since May... Perhaps this one will go more smoothly!

I really just got tired of writing out a long post only to have it deleted because my computer is retarded and there was no autosave option. Here there is at least the latter.

It's been a crazy summer. I hardly feel rested, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. I can hardly believe how quickly the days have run, how short the weeks seem to be. How a month and a half already have passed since school got out? And now there's only a month and a half left... jeez. Time flies.

Overall, life is good. I've finally gotten back on track with my quiet times, and it's truly amazing the peace that comes with spending some time one-on-one with God. I'll never get over how astounding He is!

Sometimes I write random little story-things, like the post below this one. Sometimes I talk about a book I'm reading, sometimes I talk about my frustrations. Sometimes I get all philosophical on you and ramble on and on...

Hang tight. I think you'll find I've got a lot to say ;)

A New Day

Walking into the city, a light burns in the distance. The dread of loneliness is not to be ignored; the presence of death is real. There are hundreds of people walking in their own way. Hundreds of people, yet none have a purpose. All have a story. Listen. Do you hear them? They are crying out to you from the depths of their sadness; none is safe here. The day is breaking, but the clouds cover the earth.

Some cry Protection! Others say there is no good thing in such bleak cover.

Where have we gone? All the good in the world is slowly becoming small enough to fit inside a page, while the Evil decides to take up residence in the souls of men. How numerous are the evil things! How weak in number are the ones who stand for righteousness! How infinitely sad that such a day should ever be seen upon the earth…

No one should live in such uncertainty. We all have a purpose, but very few can realize what that purpose. Some think they have found the answers, but all they have is a fistful of empty dreams. The Truth lies vulnerable in the open air, silently deflecting the torturous blows. There are few who recognize the shine beneath all of the mud that has been caked upon it through centuries of falsehood and Lies. Truth stands on its own two feet, but not without some difficulty. There are too many aggressors in the world today. Too many who would fight on the side of a lie that will only turn on them when the moment is right.

Despite the stench that fills the air, a new day is dawning.

Walking through the city, a steady stream of youth are lifting their eyes from the sidewalks and looking past themselves to something called the Greater Good. The light that burned so far away now seems to be much closer; no longer shall the living be haunted by the dead. Yes, their cries for justice and mercy will continue to resound, but the sound will take on a less melancholy tune. Finally, the stories of the Ones Who Lived will be heard by the Ones Still Living.

“The Truth shall set you free,” they say.

And slowly, slowly, young eyes begin to seek and find. The shining Truth is unveiled, reflected in the hearts of many until its brightness blinds those who would come in the name of Death and Destruction. The goal of these few is to overcome the many by the power of the Truth they now embody.

It has happened before.

It can happen again.